Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Rain/ Storm/ Fuckin' intense shit man!/ E.O.T.W (End Of The World) - What ever you want to call...

Jesus Christ...

I'd just like to be myself - Cynical - For just a moment and crush your wet, yet warm and fuzzy hearts (YES YOU! The guy on Twitter, Who swam backstroke down Elizabeth St!)
EVERYONE! You should be wary , Frightened, Shitscared! DARLINGS YOU SHOULD PISSING YOUR SHRUNKEN PANTIES! For amidst all this joy and excitement, Lies an impressively inconvenient truth (Pun intended). This - My now poised with toilet paper roll in hand inhand friends - Is a warning, a sign, it is freak weather and it can't be good! But we are prepared, We all know what it means. We must ready ourselves! Put the toilet down and collect your senses! He Who Must Not Be Named hath been reborn!

But nah really, Just because it pissed down, It doesn't mean you can have more time to pretend your in the movie Singing In The Rain in the shower, Or water you hideous English rose garden.
Continue to save water peeps.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


You will not believe what happened last night whilst watching 10 news again - picture my family waiting excitedly infront of the televsion for lippy woman to say " the Gong" in her silly weather report again; when she did we errupted into applause - Coco screaming with laughter, mum throwing her back, so far that it would normally cause great agony, you can probably guess what I was doing and FatherGordon was banging on the couch with his fist to the violent extent of bringing the nights dishes at the opposite of the room, clanging down to the floor leaving us all in hysterics.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Oooohayhey - More to say:
For some months me and my sister have had a relentless war over the brand "Lipsmacker", my aunt now owns the brand and often brings us this poisen in high quantities, it's thoughtful but is it really necessary? The smell the detangler leaves in te bathroom after coco (my sister for those who don't know) has had a tantie about her curly hair and eventual sprayed a shitload of this toxic shite through her crazed blonde mop. I have to enter this polluted area to finish my hair and makeup and whatever els I haveto go through in the
morning, with my gas mask and a full silver suit to repell the smell! Anyway, my reason for telling you all his is because today in the supermarket, coco spied the most rediculous thing since the invention of scillicon bras - wait for it - lipsmacker yoghurt.


Good afternoon.
Whilst watching 10 news last night, the brunette with wierd lips was informing us of the upcoming weather, when she said 'And 27* for "the Gong"'; as if this woman could be that bogan to say on the news for Jesus-mans sake! (For those who haven't worked it out, the woman meant Woollongong. (*for more hilarious adventures with the news woman look no further than blog number 14.)

I honestly just saw a mother in a supermarket that closely resembled Robert Plant.


Honestly, my reason Blogging now in it's ghastly entirety is that I am bored to deAth.
I just watched a movie though, it gaveout the vibe that it was a whacky Tim Burton film but I'm not sure because I can't be arsed checking the cover, it was a childrens movie but I got scared shitless in some scenes - I thunk adults and young adults will enjoy it more than the age it wad intended for. The movie was Coraline and I thoughraly enjoyed it, so, do grace you eyes with this film as it is very visually impressive.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Oooh! We are in them damn fine double digits.

Iv just noted how ridiculously similar all the house along this ferral freeway ate. It's much same as the ones along that popular highway (...) and they all have their own tennis courts, swimming pools and home cinemas. This states an obvious thing: these people never converse with each other as they do in the adds, they must be such antisocial people! All the adds are about how great the flipping "community", that group of freaks are all about having bigger and better plasmers than their tightarse nieghbors, And you wouldn't go to your tightarse nieghbors ugly brick home - that could be, in freak language, an admitance to defeat - Nono, that must spend their time in Hardly Normal buying new majestic appliances. It is all intensly depressing.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Hi there. Lil again. Not Larry.
I'm in Sydney - or rather Woollahra Darling, it is simply the Toorak of Sydney and the most hilarious place iv ever been: the well groomed dogs that lick the expensive cottage cheese off the toast at the cafes that only seem to cater for middle aged women with lushes hair, manicured nails and dressed
in their morning Lycra scoffing with their friends about theyr other friends.

I just ate some magnificent icecream.